life in Berlin Archives | WelcomeBerlin https://welcomeberlin.net/tag/life-in-berlin/ Integrate into Berlin's economy and culture Wed, 05 Aug 2026 09:43:57 +0000 en hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 https://welcomeberlin.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/ico2-150x150.png life in Berlin Archives | WelcomeBerlin https://welcomeberlin.net/tag/life-in-berlin/ 32 32 New and Alone in Berlin. The Quiet Courage of Starting Over https://welcomeberlin.net/blog/new-alone-berlin-starting-over/ https://welcomeberlin.net/blog/new-alone-berlin-starting-over/#respond Mon, 21 Jul 2025 09:46:33 +0000 https://welcomeberlin.net/?p=17576 Article by Kemi Olaoshun— Moving to Berlin is a dream to many. A city of art, activism, freedom, and fresh starts. But there’s another side to migration that isn’t shared on Instagram; the quiet, often heavy reality of starting over by yourself. New and Alone in Berlin. The Quiet Courage of Starting Over 1. What […]

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Article by Kemi Olaoshun— Moving to Berlin is a dream to many. A city of art, activism, freedom, and fresh starts. But there’s another side to migration that isn’t shared on Instagram; the quiet, often heavy reality of starting over by yourself.

New and Alone in Berlin. The Quiet Courage of Starting Over

1. What They Don’t Tell You About Migration

  • No familiar faces.
  • No defined social networks.
  • No knowledge on how anything works.

 

This isn’t an ordinary culture shock but rather a total reset of your identity, confidence, and daily routines. And if you’re reading this while sitting in a tiny flat wondering whether you made the right decision: You’re not the only one. What you’re feeling is valid, normal, and can be overcome.

2. Silence As A Companion

In your first few weeks (or months) in Berlin, silence stretches in unexpected ways. Weekends may go by without you having a single meaningful interaction. Simple errands (like asking for a Pfand bottle refund or registering at the Bürgeramt) feel like rocket science. Everything is more daunting without a local support system.

Berlin is also a city that doesn’t always reach out to you first. People respect your privacy and connections are often slower to form than in more extroverted cultures like the US. This doesn’t make Berliners cold, it means you need to put in time and effort to build a community here.

Silence can be a constant, echoing companion. And it can often be your only companion.

3. Second-Guessing Every Decision

Even the most confident person can begin to doubt their decisions when they’re in unchartered territory. You might find yourself asking:

  • Did I choose the wrong job?
  • Should I have waited longer to move?
  • Is this apartment too expensive, far, or moldy?
  • Am I cut out for this?

 

Migration can make everyday decisions feel like lapses in judgement. Without people to affirm or reassure you, it’s easy to second-guess your every move. Especially when you’re navigating systems in your second (or third) language, and encountering things that used to be effortless now requiring translation, research, and confidence.

—Keep this in mind: You’re not failing. You’re learning about an entirely new system, and it takes strength and willpower to keep going.

4. Feeling Like An Outsider

Being new to Berlin doesn’t just mean learning the logistics. It often means confronting feelings like an outsider, especially if you’re a person of colour, aren’t fluent in German, or come from a culture where people are more outwardly welcoming.

You might feel invisible in some spaces, or hyper-visible in others. Misunderstandings, small coldnesses, or microaggressions can sting more deeply when you’re already in a vulnerable position.

It’s okay to name this, it’s okay to process these thoughts, and it’s okay to find refuge in spaces that do see you.

Start by finding Berlin-based communities reflecting your identity or language. Platforms like Meetup, Eventbrite, or even The Berlin Manual on WelcomeBerlin can help you adjust to the city.

After three years in Berlin, I signed up to Meetup and found a regular meetup group for Black women living in Berlin. The events would take place in a restaurant, where we would discuss our lives in Berlin and how it compares to the other cities and countries we came from.

The weekly meetings helped create a sense of consistency and made me feel less alone and more affirmed. I say this to say, even one familiar space can restore a sense of belonging.

5. Why Having Small Anchors Matter

When everything feels unsteady, small routines turn into lifelines. You don’t need to have it all figured out to find comfort in:

  • A Saturday morning walk through your local Kiez
  • Getting the same coffee from the same café
  • Picking one local market to explore weekly


These aren’t just errands or habits. They’re your anchors that become building blocks of a new life that feels increasingly like yours.

6. Slowly and Gently Building a Network From Scratch

The “make new friends” advice can feel like a cliche when you’re juggling multiple things at once.

You don’t have to attend every event or talk to every stranger. But give yourself the permission to try once a week. Go to a book club, a coworking session, a dinner hosted by a cultural group, or even a walking tour. You can even smile at someone who looks as lost as you, to show them that they’re not alone.

Relationships in Berlin take time to build, but they will grow. And they’re often stronger because of the slow burn.

7. Finding Strength in the Struggle

The courage it takes to move to a different country is immense. But the courage it takes to stay, even when it’s hard, is just as powerful as taking the plunge.

You’ve left familiarity behind by showing up in an unfamiliar system and saying: “I will find a way.”

That’s good enough in itself. Ultimately, you come out of it stronger, knowing that you can handle whatever life in Berlin throws at you.
If you’re tired of feeling behind, remember: You’re not starting late. You’re starting bold.

8. Dealing with the Language Barrier

One of the more immediate and invisible walls you might face in Berlin is the language barrier. While Berlin is often called “international,” the reality is more nuanced than that. Yes, many people speak English but official documents, apartment listings, doctors’ visits, and job applications often do not.

This can feel isolating and disempowering. Tasks that once took five minutes may now take hours of translation, miscommunication, or waiting. You may feel reduced to silence in public offices or stumble through conversations with neighbors.

But here’s the truth: Every sentence you try, even badly, is an act of courage.
Here are low-pressure ways to ease yourself in:

  • Join free or low-cost German language meetups.
  • Use apps like Duolingo for daily practice.
  • Attend cultural events with a focus on language exchange.
  • Learn key phrases for specific scenarios (like going to the pharmacy or supermarket).

 

Progress might be slow, but showing up consistently, even imperfectly, builds confidence. Berlin respects effort more than perfection.

9. Managing Mental Health While Settling In

It’s easy to underestimate how much migration affects your mental health. The constant problem-solving, the loneliness, the homesickness, the bureaucracy – it all adds up.

Some days you feel fine. Other days, small frustrations hit harder than they normally should. That’s normal. You’re adapting in ways that may be invisible to others but still very real.

If you’re struggling with mental health:

  • Reach out to Berlin-based therapists or counsellors who speak your native language by using directories like
    It’s Complicated or Doctolib
  • Connect with peer support groups through local Facebook groups or platforms like WelcomeBerlin.
  • Explore Berlin’s nature by spending time in green spaces like Grunewald, Treptower Park, or Tiergarten to restore perspective.
  • Don’t hesitate to speak to your doctor about anxiety, burnout, or depression – mental health is healthcare after all.

 

Taking care of yourself is not luxury – it’s survival.

10. Balancing Ambition with Self-Compassion

Many people move to Berlin with a dream. Whether that’s launching a creative career, landing a tech job, being fluent in German, or finally becoming their “real self.” Alongside these ambitions, migration demands a slower pace. Slower than you want, or slower than you’re used to.

You may feel frustrated when things don’t move as fast as you hoped. You may compare yourself to others who seem more “settled.” But your timeline is yours alone.

Ambition is good, but self-compassion is important. Give yourself credit for the things others don’t see:

  • Showing up at an appointment speaking only German
  • Paying your taxes without a meltdown
  • Speaking to someone at an event
  • Just making it through another day

 

Living in a new country is already a full-time job. Any growth on top of that is extraordinary. You’re not falling behind. You’re starting from square one – starting fresh takes time, grit, and grace.

11. Navigating Bureaucracy and Administrative Stress

German bureaucracy has a reputation and it’s not known for being easy. From Anmeldung (registration) to health insurance, tax IDs, visa renewals, and everything in between, the paperwork can feel endless and intimidating.

If you’ve translated a letter three times and you still aren’t sure what it means, you’re not alone. Consider it part of the process.

This is one of the most common (also most exhausting) challenges foreign residents face in Berlin. But with time, tools, and help, it does get easier.

Here are some practical tips:

 

No one gets through this perfectly. And just because it’s stressful doesn’t mean you’re doing things wrong. It means you’re dealing with a complex system, in another language, in a new country. That’s bravery, and you should be proud of yourself for seeking information, and taking action based on what you’ve found.

Conclusion: You're Not Behind - You're Progressing

Berlin can be overwhelming but it can also be deeply healing; that’s if you give it time.

The loneliness won’t last forever. The second-guessing will fade with each decision you make with confidence. And one day, without realizing it, you’ll be the person helping someone else through their own first lonely year.

Until then, breathe. Take one step. Be patient with yourself. You’re not just surviving – you’re growing into someone new. Someone you never thought you’d become.

Author: Kemi Olaoshun — ghostwriter from London, now based in Berlin. Find her on LinkedIn.

Picture of Kemi Olaoshun

Kemi Olaoshun

Kemi Olaoshun is a writer living in Berlin. She moved from London in 2019 and, after a mix of odd jobs and creative detours, found her way to ghostwriting. These days, she helps companies share their voice through thoughtful email courses. She’s always open to writing work that feels real and meaningful.

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